The night rantings

I think this period of my moodiness is due to the lack of milestones.Significant milestones.As a young being, one has many fixed and important milestones.They are called the major exams, which are part of a highly structured education system.The plan is is clear and simple.Clear this milestone and move onto the next one.It is also clear that if you can clear this milestone, there will be the next one waiting for you. With this certainty, you then easily understand and accept why you need to clear the current milestone. When the current milestone gets too tough, you seek comfort in the usefulness of clearing it, i.e. to get to the next one.There is Structure.There is Order.And you believe in and subscribe to it.But as soon as one clears these early milestones, Life's journey become hazy.One is now free to fix his own milestones.But these are not mandatory.To make things worse, the outcome can hardly be controlled.Love is not a given.Marriage is not a given.Child-rearing is not a given.Job promotion is not a given.Job is not a given.Nothing is predictable anymore.There is nothing to believe in anymore.For a being who is used to the concept of having definite milestones and clearing them in anticipation of the next, adulthood becomes difficult to handle.One starts to feel alienated.Dislocated from one's familiar millieu.Perhaps the next milestone is to accept that there will not be any more fixed milestones. That this is the New Order.Perhaps that's why I have found and continue to find going back to school so appealing. Accumulation of knowledge gratifies me, especially the learning.I only have to make one decision to get back to school.Then school will keep me occupied for the next 15 months.I don't have to worry about what I have to do.I just have to do it. Knowledge Sponge. And going to the fourth quarter, its another search for milestones to clear......