writing when I should be sleeping

Monday, August 18, 2008

Over a year since my last posts and things has changed quite a fair bit. For one, I have taken a new role in the beginning of the year. Was offered various opportunities but circumstances has lead me to my current role. It was a fair bit of shift from previously in terms of scope and it has been challenging. It has been satisfying but in terms on rewards, it is still very much kiv.

Having left Singapore for nearly 4 years, I am starting to lose bits of my Singaporean identitiy. Doubts has crept in at times on the sacrifices for career progression after seeing friends leave one by one especially with the sinking USD. The claustophobic living conditions is starting to get to me although I am told most HKgers has it worse.

The big 30 creeping up is of no help and I keep thinking of goals reached and unreached. My search of meritocracy has met with mixed successes and I am blabbering with an overactive mind in the middle of the night.

I have earned another degree by completing 10 modules within 1 year, only 6 mths if you count the distant between the papers. I am going another 4 diplomas by taking 5 more and I find studying evading me.

I am starting to love work too much and losing my focus on personal life. Do I want to be a ceo or do I want to be retired. Apparently quarter life crisis does not come easy.

The only thing that is holding me back is that I love my work, I love creating strategies and seeing them have impact. But is that enough or am I asking for too much too fast. Apparently mileage is still important to a lot of people, not only dad. I hate it when some is not bound by the same rules as the group, that merit and hardwork alone is not enough.

Enough rantings for now. time to get to bed.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Another 3 mths, projects done, new projects, start taking a new course. Yah you heard me right a new freaking degree. Cannot believe it myself but...... Its helpful but not doing a lot for my social life.

About one year in the job, I am very happy with my own progress. Proved to myself that be it a self-owned business, research, government, or corporate, I can handle it. End of rotation in sight, hopefully I can get a suitable position and a competitive package.

Birthday coming soon.... Sometimes I feel jaded but at times I feel like a baby.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Halfway through the program..... Tot I post something here to remind myself. Learning new stuff, doing nw projects certainly help time to pass. Its times like this that I tell myself that the MBA was mentally rewarding, it moved me from a stagnant stage in my life towards something new and fresh. Financially.... Hopefully it works out to my expectations. But thank god, Uncle HS has been kind to me. 60. Was targetting 15 but its a good year so far. Rewarded myself with a pair of nice G shoes and bought some new clothes. 4 rotations down, 5 more to go.

Higher & Stronger expectations, conviction and belief.

One year after my MBA. I have outperform my plans and expectations. Re-evaluated and re-set my goals and targets which would have seen ludicrous a year ago.

I love a phrase that was spoken by Neil Kelly on deathrow, I see it as a sign of life's unpredictability that we have to change ourselves constantly to meet new challenges. No worries about going too fast, "Such is Life"


Sunday, November 12, 2006

Gosh. Has it really been that long since my last update? 4 months. Lots has changed since this time. I went on holidays in Thailand and Vietnam, moved to HK, started my new job,.....

It felt good to be working again although the first awkward week of settling in was tedious, not to mention getting plonked into a huge project on my second day. But I got used to it thankfully and it has been a great learning journey so far. I would like to say more but is concerned about the confidentiality contracts and laws. So let just say its lots of work, lots of learning, lots of pain but lots of satisfaction too.

Believe it or not, I only questioned my decision of taking the job and moving to HK prior to starting work when I had too much free time on my hands. Nowadays, I stopped thinking about it altogether. Part of the reason is that my brain prefer to hibernate during free time and another is that I am enjoying the challenges at work. Call me a sucker for pain, but after years of RTB and repetitive work, I like the new working environment which is similar to my MBA. Full of challenges. The rewards??? Its not exactly clear at this stage but I will know when my program ends. When it comes, it comes. Now I am just starting to rebuild my deleted finances as a result of my MBA.

Theres a alumni meeting next week in HK and I do hope to attend part of it and meet the alumni in HK. Hopefully it will be lots of fun sinceI only know those in my batch Like E, L, A.

Soon it will be a new year. I recalled spending 2005 New year in Melbourne, catching the fireworks, 2006 New Year counting down in Singapore. What will 2007 bring?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Its been 1.5 mths since my last entry and I have been dragging my feet although a couple of friends has asked about updates. The reason: I just want to BUM. Yes. Bum in the real sense where I do everything from eat, sleep, meet friends, drink, read, watch movies, you get the point. All the bumming stuff besides doing stuff with any semblance of work which includes writing/typing. But as the date draws nearer to me leaving for Hong Kong to start my new job, I felt a strong urge to record my feelings and thoughts at this point of my life.

Telling people about my new job, I have received the "oh, its so wonderful....." and the "Why can't you just stay in Singapore....." comments, to various degrees. And trust me, I asked myself the same questions too.

Is it Money? Negative, although there was a certain degree of incentive to go. The reason is that I can just stay in Singapore and manage the business and get back to what I was doing or go to Malaysia and get into what my uncles is doing there.

Is it Power? Yes and No. Not so much as in "hahaha, I am a high power executive and I can crush you like a crockroach...." for I do have some degree of power doing the Singapore and Malaysia thingy as mentioned above. Plus the option to do my own thing if I do not like both. However, I recognise that there are certain constraints in running the family business or running a business funded by family money. That I do not like. But in my HK job, although I am accountable to my bosses, I always have options. One big option is always to leave. But in family, leaving is never easy. So it is more an issue of freedom rather than power. Power of freedom I call it.

Is it for recognition? Yes and No again. I had my three minutes of fame on TV, radio and print before I did my MBA and although it was fun, it was not exactly my *thang*. So I am in no hurry to become the Face or voice or whatever you call poster boys. But then again, I want to do something that my parents will be proud of and caretaker of the family business is not very notesworthy at least in the family circles.

Basically, the reason for me taking up the job is two reasons. Freedom and To See How Far I Can Proceed on my Own in the Corporate World.
I did not like the restriction of business and the lonesome life of an academic. When I first embark on my MBA, a huge reason was to find my professional direction in life. Although I went in with the typical pre-MBA hopes of consulting or investment banking, I was not sure where I want to head. It was just the money and prestige of those jobs which called out to me then. You get that alot when you are studying with money that is not yours. When I was doing my MBA at Melbourne Business School, I was amazed and impressed by the people around me. Nothing prepared me for the learning and exchanges I have with my classmates from 30+ countries and different walks of life. The brilliance of these individuals also made it a very humbling experience at times. I have studied and work with some brilliant people but imagine doing that everyday in the MBA. I learned about my shortcomings and improved on them. I identified my interest and strengths. In short, my professional personality matured, along with my social one.

If I was not content with going back to the family business, after the MBA I was not content with just being a paper pusher. Is it ambition? I am not sure for I do not hanker after money and power. It is just wanting to know how far I can go and where will I be after giving it my best. It is the curiousity of wanting to seek out unchartered territories for myself.

I recognise the sacrifices thatI will make in this job. Leaving the family, girlfriend and friend is a huge one. But I am lucky to have their support. Another is deviating from the standard Singaporean of finding a job in Singapore, get married, blah blah. It may seem boring to some but a part of me crave the trodden path, maybe the risk adverse part or the family-guy part. Plus I want my Car!!! Something which will be unrealisitc in HK.

Someone once told me, "You are so lucky. 27, an MBA, a cushy expat job in HK with a family business and inheritance."

To this I thought "Bullshit, luck has very little to do with it. I applied and staked my future for my MBA. I started scouting for jobs a year before graduation and prepared for the application process, treating it as a key job/subject.
I DO NOT want my parents to pass on, hoping they live forever. And taking into account the average lifespan of Singaporeans, when I receive my inheritance, I am freaking in my 60s. And do you know how my business works, we work 6days week, 13+ hours days, most public holidays. " But I am thankful my parents was able to help pay for the MBA first, and being born into this family is most probably the luck part.

Going into a new country and job, I am both excited and fearful. Excited at new challenges and fearful of the unknown. This must be one of my longest entries. There seems to be more thoughts waitng to be penned but like I said, I want to bum for the remaining time I have. :)

Friday, June 09, 2006

A Happy Ending to my MBA....

So the last term of my MBA was a hectic rush of fun, pressure and fond memories. Going on job interviews and trips, took around 1 flight every week in the last 16 weeks that taking planes and waiting at airport has became usual. The last term and my stint in Graduate House where I stayed allowed me to strengthen many friendships and forged new ones.

Job search was filled with ups and downs. Got turned down for a job I was keenly pursuing and ended getting turned down but the company came back with two other offers which I was initially very excited about in Corporate Strategy. Then when I came back for the meeting, the vibe just did not suit me.

Next job was another one which I was keen about but I did not graduate in time as they needed someone immediately.

Somehow, luck was on my side and I receive a JD and request for application for a job from MBS career services. I applied crack a case study, video flimed it, went to Hong Kong for a interview that lasted from 8am -9 pm. And I got it. It was truly what I desired, the region, the job description, everything.

The MBA has been a journey of self discovery. Hard work- definitely. Friends, Fun and NEtworking galore if you are inclined. It stretches your limits and open your eyes to new things, new experiences. No one I knew in my class ever regretted the experience and neither do I.

The happy ending and a fruitful job search has capped off one of the most wonderful periods and experience in my life. And for my few readers, I hope you too find what you are looking for.

I still may update the blog from time to time, just to for my own referrence, but you are welcome to check back. :)

Next Stop for work: Hong Kong!!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Serious need to rant. Started with a strong of vulgarities but decided to delete what I wrote because I do not want to regress to that level. This may be a turning point in my life where it has all boiled down to what my family doctor said about destiny or it may be just a little hiccup. I am hoping it is the latter. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!.
There. Remember this moment.
I hate foul-ups when you do not know what hit you.

Small blessing is that I finished my Brand exam before that. Counting small blessings....

Its just like snake and ladders. Back to the finish line and roll the dice.....

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